Atticus Health originally started out in the business of health ‘care’. The word ‘care’ though, seems to be used so much. Indeed, now we’ve moved into home ‘care’. All this talk of care made me stop to think and take heed of what it actually means to ‘care’.
It was whilst talking to a psychologist recently that she commented in passing, “Floyd, that person was affected because they could tell that you really ‘cared’”. “How did I do that?” I thought. And, if that was true, geez, to care or not to care has a profound impact on what happens next. It’s transformational. So, let’s look at the word ‘care’.
Care (Oxford English dictionary)
Noun
1. The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.
2. Serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.
Verb
1. Feel concerned or interested; attach importance to something.
2. Look after and provide for the needs of.
So ‘care’ is a thing and an action. It requires you to give something else, beyond yourself, your attention and focus – to listen. And in a crowded world, where distractions lay a plenty, the ability to truly care is not so straightforward after all.
As a doctor, one could argue that my job is all about caring, but I would say that whatever we are doing – fixing a car, painting a wall, talking to a friend – our impact is so much more profound if the other party realises that we really ‘care’. And if they don’t ever get this feeling, I’d go as far as saying, despite all that goes on in between, all is actually … lost. Most people can sniff when someone’s “going through the motions”, which is the best colloquialism I can think of for not caring.
Mind you, none of us, including me, are perfect. Indeed, despite my best intentions, when much is on my own mind, I too struggle to focus. And other times, simply waking up on the wrong side of the bed seems to dictate the whole day’s progression. That’s life – full of ups and downs. And on such a note, making sure our own jars are amply full, giving time to self ‘care’, so that we can too, is important and sensible.
Nevertheless, there you have it, to ‘care’ or not. It’s a great divide and can either make or break an interaction and the effectiveness of whatever we do. And if the need to ‘care’ ever makes you feel under duress, I can only offer you advice from my own experiences. When I’ve been in the moment and evidently (as my psychologist friend summed up) really ‘cared’, it was a powerful moment for both parties. As the giver on that occasion, it was energising and added meaning to my day. So, I’d say, ironically, it could be more work to go through the motions, which is after all, some form of drudgery.
Stay in the moment, because that is where the magic really happens. ?
